she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
