Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
