My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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