It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
