The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Found your dick twin last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
