An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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