What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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