I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
