That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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