its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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