he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
