I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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