belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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