and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Randomize
