Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
