Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
