i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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