Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
