He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
