Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
