woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
