Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
