Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
