that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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