and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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