Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
