Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you guys were way drunker than both of me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize