was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
