1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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