I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
