I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
