they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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