oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize