you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
