PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
