But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
