You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
