what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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