she smelled like a LAN party
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
