And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
