Im just a social blackout drinker.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
