Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
