i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
