There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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