my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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