we're blogging at a bar
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
