just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
