i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
