So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize