I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
