Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
