$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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