...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i think my cat just said my name.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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