i think my tv is drunk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
