just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize