What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
