are you still at the devil's house?
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
