ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Who died my cat blue again?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
