yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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