you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
