is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
