She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
