with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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