Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
